Moving on.....

or at least trying to. I'm not usually one to wear my emotions on my sleeve. My friends tell me that I'm a pretty private person generally. But I feel like venting some of my feelings on this blog. It is supposed to be a journal of sorts. I am hopeful that maybe by expressing these feelings it will help me to move on.



These last six months have been some of the hardest months of my life. I think I have experienced every negative emotion possible---------sadness, anger, hurt, bitterness, resentment, shame, helplessness, fear-----and to a degree I never thought possible.



As I was running by our old house today, so many emotions came flooding back. And I thought I was getting over all this.... I suppose it will take a very long time to heal and move on. I miss our home----not just our house----our home. We had never planned on leaving that house. I miss our friends, our routine, the feelings we had living in that neighborhood. I miss walking out the door and watching Cooper and Asher riding their scooters in their pajamas. I miss Carter and Aidan asking to jump on the trampoline. I miss looking out the window and seeing familiar cars come and go. I miss being able to run to the Youngs and borrow anything.

I believe we have trials in this life for a purpose. And I definitely believe that I will learn something valuable from all of this. And, most days, I feel happy and see the good in the changes in our situation. As long as the good days outweigh the bad then I think I am doing alright.